Who is Your Family?
I love my family. My wife and children are among the greatest blessings God has given me. My siblings, parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles and so on are all very important to me. The memories of those who have passed on before me are very sweet. Family gives one a sense of identity, belonging, and history–and a strong reason to care about the future. On the other hand, chief among the wounded souls among us are those who have been violated by their families, or whose families have been violated or broken. That fact alone proves the extreme importance of family.
Pardon the term, but God “invented” family. When he made humans, he didn’t just make a man and a woman, he made a husband and a wife. I’m sure the first commandment was to avoid the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, but the second commandment was to have children. Family is incredibly important. A godly family is the most important factor in bringing children up in emotional and spiritual health. God knows this. The Scriptures bear this truth out over and over and over again.
Those of us with happy homes and dear extended families are blessed–truly blessed! But, what of the lonely? What of the orphans? What about the abused and neglected? Has God left those without flesh and blood families bereft of this great source of happiness? Has God abandoned those with broken or disfunctional families? Not at all. The fact is that every human being is descended from one man, and so we’re all literally related (Acts 17:26). Therefore anyone with whom we can build a pure and happy relationship can be family. More important, though, is the fact that God has created a new kind of family that has ties deeper than flesh. A spiritual relationship is deeper, truer, more intimate, and certainly more permanent than a fleshly one. Also, spiritual people are people who are learning more and more how to think and act and love like God. For that very reason, spiritual people make the best family members. The family that matters most is the Household of God, the church (1 Tim 3:14-15). In God’s family, we have an almighty, eternal Father whose character can be described in the greatest terms (1 Jn 4:8; Heb 13:5). We have as head of the house our sacrificial “big brother” Jesus Christ (Heb 2:11). And we have each other (every faithful follower of Jesus) as siblings in the Lord.
“Blood is thicker than water,” but Christ’s blood accessed through the waters of baptism is the thickest bond of all. Let me challenge you all now to carefully consider your priorities. Which is more important, your physical family, or your spiritual family in Christ? The answer comes straight from the cross. As Jesus was being crucified, he showed us the importance of caring for one’s family. The Bible account reads: “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home” (John 19:26-27 ESV). Jesus had brothers and sisters in the flesh. Why didn’t he leave the care of his mother to them? They weren’t believers! Even his brothers James and Jude did not come to believe until some time after his death and ascension. In another place, Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37 ESV). Christ’s people are his body (Eph 1:22-23), therefore the way we view and treat our brothers and sisters in Christ is the way we view and treat him (Matt 25:34-40). Parents, were you to die and leave your children behind, would you rather have them raised by an unbelieving family member, or a friend in the church who would see them raised up in the faith? I won’t even do more than mention how bad it is for Christians to leave large inheritances to unbelieving children when it, instead, could be put to good use in the kingdom. Where are your loyalties? Where are your priorities? They said to Jesus, ”‘Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, asking to speak to you.’ But he replied to the man who told him, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother’” (Matthew 12:47-50 ESV). If any Christian, married or not, with children or not, with any blood kin or not, is bereft of the joy of having family relationships, it is a failing of the church that must be addressed!
Thank God for family! I am so grateful to have been raised in an extended family of Christians. More than that, I’m thankful for my spiritual family in Christ–that is what is most important. Anyone can be a part of this family no matter what kind of flesh and blood family you came from. The best thing you can do for your physical family is lead them into the family of God. Experience the New Birth (Jn 3:3-8) and become part of the Household of God. Then grow as you pour yourself out in love and favor toward God and your brothers and sisters in Christ. You’ll find, if you dare, that the bond of Spirit is thicker than blood or water.
—JLP
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Jesus said, Who are my mother, brothers & sisters? Those that do the will of my father. I may be quoting that a little off, but are we to love our christian brother and sisters more than our earthly family? If so, how is that demonstrated in our country today?
Thanks for the comment, Randy.
I believe that we are supposed to love our siblings in Christ more than fleshly kin that do not believe. I don’t believe it is demonstrated in the lives of some of the Christians I have met in the US of A. In saying this, though, I do not mean to say that Christians in America are unloving, quite the contrary, only that some do not understand that the kingdom must take priority over even one’s unbelieving blood-kin.
—JLP