Refusing to face the fact that it's real is more devastating sometimes than is death itself. You know the person who is facing death, who has been told that he has, for example, a terminal illness such as cancer. He has a lot of adjustments to make: future hopes, long terms plans, life long dreams have to be abandoned. And there is nothing that can make those adjustments pleasant. If you are facing death, maybe I can help; I certainly want to help. If you’re facing death consider these suggestions:
First, it’s a must that the one facing death admit that death is real. I don't mean that a person facing death should submit to it without a fight. The will to live is sometimes stronger than you think. Family Health magazine has carried stories about some who refuse to give up on life when doctors said there wasn't any hope. One article said that doctors can't define the will to live; scientists can't explain it. But it is often the difference between life and death. Keep up your will to live, but face what's there. The one who faces death has to be realistic, and refusing to talk about it won't make it go away. Maybe you're finding it hard to face your family with your bad news. Maybe you’re having trouble knowing how to participate now in what used to be "normal conversations." Maybe you don't know if you ought to talk about what's ahead. As you talk to your family in day-to-day conversation, realize that you can strengthen them as they can strengthen you.
How they face it will be determined largely by how you're facing it. Prepare for it and they will too. As you try to prepare your family, don't make them promise you something that they will do or won't do that might destroy their lives later on. A husband or a wife may want to ask the other one to promise they'll never marry, though their spouse isn't even thinking of such a thing. Promises are easy to make but hard to keep, and if kept, may result in a life of loneliness and depression on the part of the one trying to keep it. If the promise isn’t kept, it may cause feelings of guilt and even of unfaithfulness. If you really love a person, you'll desire their continued happiness later on. Maybe you're not the one who's dying, but the one who has been left behind after your husband or wife has died. While we’re on the subject of remarriage, you do have the right to remarry whenever you wish, but don't do it hastily. Not because it would dishonor the dead, but because you may be under the great emotional strain and make an unwise decision.
When you do remarry, keep in mind these simple pointers: